ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we're so committed to being not committed
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
