it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
