Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize