Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
