I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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