i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
