well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
