so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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