dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
