i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
