well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
