Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
