so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
