I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
should my penis look like a turkey
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
