Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize