so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize