I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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