He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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