Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
