Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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