OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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