Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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