what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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