I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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