Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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