i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
