is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He better not be in your backpack
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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