Where did you get a picture of my penis
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
