I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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