Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
