I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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