Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
