Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
