I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
