DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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