Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
