I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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