Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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