she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
