Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
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