I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
