The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
