bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
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