I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
pray to the hookup gods
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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