She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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