YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
