talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
