for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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