i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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