They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
