I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
