If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
