Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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