this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
