guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
