He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
