I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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