her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
