We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
